So.......

Tonight, I had family based. Just a family meeting, where we discussed getting back into my "interests" (piano and karate), and my dad said that I apprently "do anything to be different from us". Hey, dickhead, I'm just trying to find myself, and I want to make my own choices for a change, m'kay? And mom, I've changed. Stop telling everyone what I was like before. When will you two (my parents) finally accept that I'm changed, and I'm no longer the girl I was more than a year ago? Holy fuck. It annoys the shit out of me. Sorry. Language.

I finally went to the mall.
I bought:
-Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge- MCR (album)
-Girl By: Blake Nelson
-Rock Sound magazine
I went all fan-girly over the Rock Sound magazine, cause Fall Out Boy is almost all over in this magazine. Mmmm...Fall Out Boy.....

Currently, my dad is working out at the YMCA, my cat is playing with my shopping bags (from tonight) on my bed, and my mom and brother went to the grocery store. Yeah.

I'll continue to rant:
(from my emotional post on MJB):
Every since I was very young, (you may think this is stupid) he yelled at me when I had a toilet problem. And he brought other "bad" stuff I did into the argument/lecture/session too.And he used to hit me for it too. The belt. I thought it was very un-necessary. I mean, I had problems going to the bathroom, and he flipped every time. I think that was un-called for.Recently, my dad has been blowing up at me, and saying hurtfull stuff to me like I'm the "most meanest person", I "use people", my only purpose is to make things harder for the whole family, I'll prevent people from coming to our house (stupid snobby neighborhood I live in), and we got in one today. Me vs my dad.He was furious at me, cause I made my decision that I was atheist. I wasn't trying to offend them or anything, I swear. It's like I can't have my own opinion.Today, I came out in the argument about my sexuallity. I'm bisexual- leaning more towards the girls though. He started swearing at me, said this is "just a phase", and I was sexually abused by a family friend when I was eleven, and when I brought up that abuse that upset me so much that I looked at girls instead- he said to get over it, he didn't care, etc.He doesn't understand any of it, and he denies anything of what he said to me.He talks himself out of the mean stuff he says to me around my counselors. It's frustrating me.I feel like the only way i would please my father would be if I was dead. The whole family would be better off with out me.I'm at wits end, and I have no clue what I should. My counselors (from family based) sort of agree with me, but they think I'm overegarating cause my dad says what I said is untrue and sweettalks his way out of it. URGH!I only want this to stop!
^^^^On my MJB post, some members say that this is verbal abuse. I just want my dad to stop and maybe watch what he says to me. How should I do this?

When he's around my counselors and family based, he acts somewhat very nice. Although when I say something to confuse the counselors, he gives me this hard death look.

So, I found Ohio is For Lovers (piano cover) on Youtube. I'm learning how to play it on piano....starting today! WOOHHH! Fuck yeah! I win. :)
I am so happy about OIFL being played on piano by ME!
I had a peanut butter sandwich and milk for lunch today. And my brother has a dentist appointment too today. I'll probably stay home if mom lets meh. Although I'll go if we stop at the mall too. I'm a brat, aren't I?
I want more rubber bands. I feel like making a list....Hmmmm......
Random Shit For Me To Do Over The Break:
1. WRITE! (duh)
2. keep blogging
3. have a good christmas
4. spend lots of time with family
5. take lots of pictures
6. do something with friend(s)
7. drink hot chocolate
8. find new bands I like
9. get a hair-cut and maybe dye it black
10. get a piercing (snake bites! :) )
11. send in a Post Secret
12. be a camwhore
13. make a mini movie and/or a music video
14. do some band slash
15. write song lyrics
16. finish reading "Impulse"
17. make up random characters to be used in my writings
18. try to make a TH and/or music/band/emo magazine
19. learn how to swear...in Spanish
Can't think of any more right now....

This text made me smile:
(from my cousin Melissa)
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good but easy. So the apples up top think that something is wrong with them when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along the one who isbrave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
^^^At the end of this text is the chain text stuff.
Even though, I'm not straight the text cheered me up. :)

xanga post

Some of these lame-ass rules on Xanga are f*cked up. And the layout for Xanga is annoying me. Cut off words, flashy distracting stuff, and some other stuff.
Posting another post so my welcome post will appear.
Damn rules.

Testing, testing.....
My brother is playing his Nintendo DS on my bed. I have family based tonight.
My feet are cold, and I need to take my shower. I'll take my shower tonight, I guess.
I'm going to the mall. I want to spend some money. I'll probably buy

A. a Post Secret book
B. "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower" (book)
C. CD from 1 or more of the following bands:
"If Only You Were Lonely"- Hawthorne Heights, A Thorn For Every Heart, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge- MCR, The Used, Brand New, Armor For Sleep, Funeral For A Friend, Saves The Day, The Early November.....
D. a hoodie, stud belt, arm-warmers, or a plaid hoodie for some reason
I'm definately buying band merch from smartpunk.com! I shall splurge on Smartpunk! Whoop!